We’re knee deep in some decision making this week and its consuming all the free space in my brain.
03 FebBe back soon
27 JanA Very Scientific Survey
Im mulling over the (I think) last portion of this series before returning to exciting things like: Nathan telling me “when you say ‘I swear’ do you know what that means? That means you are going to kick someone in the head….with your foot. Thats what it means.” Yes- for $400 a month you TOO can send your kid to preschool to acquire useful, albeit incorrect, information. I swear. Also Nathan has been testing his limits lately with sassy little smart mouth comments and PC gets all drill instructor on his ass and listening to that banter cracks me UP. Then he inevitably lands himself in timeout and while in timeout he gets the silent treatment. “DAAAAD DAAAAAAAAD” he will yell. And after 8 or 10, increasingly louder and longer DAAAAD’s you hear this little exasperated “Oh…neverMIND.” And I have to bite my lip because damn its hilarious.
But, before we get back to those types of tales, lets talk about food. There will be another giveaway so don’t totally tune out yet. And before I tell you what I eat, I want to know what you eat.
FYI- I have no way of tracking your answers. Mom, I know probably a quarter of the hits a day are from you, but for the rest of you 70 readers, you have no reason not to participate in my Very Scientific Survey. I have no way of knowing who you are. Though, my curiosity is growing as to who is “trackingfriends”?
*I realize the problem with this one is family size (and number of non-potty trained members in the house). So, lets just assume you are shopping for a family of 4-5 (ie :if you are a couple double your amt)
25 JanTiming is Everything
We got some movies from Netflix today. Food Inc was in there. We watched it. I was practically drooling I watched it with such intensity. And at the end the question that kept rolling around in my head was: where along the way did we sell our SOULS?
Honestly. (And this isn’t my usual ‘Oh HONESTLY’ sarcasm. This is genuine). Im not sure what I think of a country….of a a society that has become……THAT. I wonder: what do we stand for as a society/culture/nation? The truth of the matter is when I watch things like that, I totally get why people hate us. We have no conscience or moral compass anymore.
I can’t get the image of the poor, defenseless [still living] cow being SHOVELED by a forklift out of my head. Or the pigs being slaughtered so inhumanly. What monsters we’ve become. And for what? So we can feed ourselves another burger made with 80% “meat filler”. The word glutton comes to mind.
Harsh words I know, but Im just so disgusted by it all. Everyone needs to see this movie.
24 JanPart Four: Food Science
The official drawing from a Lightning McQueen bucket
$10 iTunes winner is #2- Jessica
***
While I wholeheartedly think that exercise plays a vital role in health, if we really want to point the finger the gold medal goes to: Our diet. We (meaning Americans) eat garbage. We have a diet that is killing us slowly and its becoming a bigger and bigger burden on our already tragic healthcare system.
If you read In Defense of Food you will learn that even diets that are high in saturated fats (fats we’ve always been told are a big No-No) don’t have nearly the rates of health issues as we do. Asians eat starchy white rice day in and day out and they don’t have a fraction of the “western illnesses” either. Our downfall is the refined sugars, flours, food additives, salt etc. So much of what you find in the grocery store is not food. I find that when I go to the store these days I can usually walk past 2 aisles avoiding them completely: chip/soda aisle, crackers/cookie aisle. There is very little I ever buy in those aisles (I’ll admit there are always Oreos in the freezer- but those last us at least 1-2months). There is nothing of value in those aisles. In fact when I went to the store today I decided that I think the Pop Tart probably ties with the Bagel for the most worthless food on earth.
Because Im sure not everyone finds food science as fascinating as I do, lets have a little science lesson.
Carbohydrates are pretty much the mainstay of the American diet these days. This really was fueled with the 1980′/90’s notion that eating a low-fat diet was the way to go. What was fat replaced with? Carbs. Then the 2000’s had us all saying no to carbs and eating our weights in steak and bacon. Now….I don’t know where we are now, worse off than ever? Part of the problem is that we’ve got loads of carbs (sugar) in places we don’t expect them (spaghetti sauce, salad dressing, ketchup, peanut butter, etc). In fact its becoming increasingly difficult to find food that doesn’t have sugar in it.
Carbs can be split into two major categories: simple (this is your table sugar, soda, syrup, juice, and our very very favorite: High Fructose Corn Syrup -aka HFCS) and complex (whole grains (oatmeal, brown and wild rice, quinoa), starchy vegetables (potatoes, squash, yams) and legumes (peas, beans, lentils)). Carbs are broken down by digestion into glucose which is able to enter our bloodstreams (this is what people are talking about when they say “blood sugar”). Once there it triggers the release of, your friend and mine; insulin. Insulin helps glucose get into our cells where its used for energy (glucose being the body’s primary source of energy).
Once our immediate energy needs have been met, extra glucose still remaining in the bloodstream can be stored in our muscles and liver for later use. If our muscle and liver stores of glucose are full (and most Americans glucose stores are FULL-ULL) but we still have extra glucose floating around in our blood, then insulin says ‘waste not, want not’ and helps our body turn this into fat. To be used at a later time. Except for most of us- there is no LATER TIME because we just keep adding to the fat stores like we’re bears amping up for hibernation. And we keep getting fatter and fatter and fatter. And once those fat cells are created they’re there for life. They can shrink but they don’t go away.
When we eat anything that is just straight sugar (ie the pop tart or bagel, soda, juice) it sends our pancreas into overdrive with insulin! insulin! insulin! Your blood sugar rises rapidly (in the case of juice/soda it rises so rapidly most diabetics aren’t allowed to have it. Like ever. Which is also why if a diabetic is going into shock you give them juice to quickly! bring their blood sugar back up). When it rises rapidly like that you feel all good and energized and your body is still working away with insulin! insulin! insulin! and then….you start to feel crashy and *hungry*. So….you reach for something sugary again. And the cycle starts all over again. You continue to feel hungry and get fatter. Its this roller coaster of sugar highs and lows that takes its toll on your body and, here the science gets more complicated than I can understand (A high flux of fructose to the liver, the main organ capable of metabolizing this simple carbohydrate, disturbs normal hepatic carbohydrate metabolism leading to two major consequences: perturbations in glucose metabolism and glucose uptake pathways, and a significantly enhanced rate of de novolipogenesis and TG synthesis, driven by the high flux of glycerol and acyl portions of TG molecules coming from fructose catabolism. These metabolic disturbances appear to underlie the induction of insulin resistance commonly observed with high fructose feeding (source: www.nutritionandmetabolism.com)). Basically, this roller coaster of sugar highs can lead to insulin resistance. Our bodies just weren’t made to handle such an onslaught of sugar in our diet.
Most everyone has at least some vague idea of what a ‘balanced’ meal/snack is. As I mentioned above, when you eat a meal or snack that is composed of carbs/sugar it raises your blood sugar quickly and then it comes crashing right back down. You can avoid these peaks and valleys by consuming protein (and or fat) at the same time (think apple and cheese (squirty cheese does NOT count), banana and peanut butter, cottage cheese and crackers, etc). Diabetics have to eat this way, and really, it makes a lot of sense.
When you include proteins you will stay full longer, glucose levels stay more consistent, your metabolism will work more efficiently, and you will feel like you have more energy for longer periods of time. When you eat carbohydrates and proteins together, the carbohydrates are digested in about two hours, but the proteins take longer to digest. Proteins slow down the digestion of the carbohydrates, and energy from the carbohydrates is released slower (thus avoiding the sugar highs and lows).
When I was looking up info on this (no, not ALL of this info is stored in my brain ready to spew out at any minute) I saw this good analogy: Think of the carb/protein thing like a car on a highway. If you are the only one on the highway you’ll zip on down the road. If you have to compete with traffic you’ll move much slower. The same goes for glucose working its way through your blood stream. Eating protein along with carbs fills the blood stream with traffic that slows down the glucose. And the slower glucose moves through the bloodstream, the better. If it moves through too quickly, your blood sugar levels will dip and you’ll be tormented by sugar cravings and find yourself in a slump.
To sum it up: The reason we are big and getting bigger is because we are consuming far more than our bodies can metabolize. When you eat foods that are heavy in carbs they raise your blood sugar quickly, wreak their havoc, and then send you crashing back down, reaching for more food. If we ate more well thought out meals our blood sugar would stay constant, we’d feel better, we’d eat less, and, at least in theory, we’d weigh less.
Some numbers:
-We eat roughly 150lbs of sugar a year (this also includes about 30lbs of natural sugar found in fruit). A can of soda has 10 tsp of sugar. A container of fruit flavored yogurt has 6tsp. A tablespoon of ketchup has a TEASPOON of sugar in it. We should only be eating the equivalent of 8tsp a day.
-Obesity related health issues cost us nearly $150 BILLION every year
-190 million Americans (roughly 2/3 of the population TWO THIRDS) are overweight or obese
-From 1935 to 1996, the prevalence of diagnosed type 2 diabetes climbed nearly 765%
-childhood obesity rates have more than tripled in the last 30 years.
Next….how ( and what) we eat. (This is the last one, I promise).
*Since I lack any sort of credentials in this area, if anything I’ve written isn’t correct- I welcome corrections.
20 JanPart Three: Exercise! And a giveaway
Im not what you would consider a particularly athletic person. I never did sports growing up….unless you count tennis lessons in the summer as kids which I think was more for my mom’s sanity than anything else. I have always hated running. In gym in high school my friends and I would watch for the gym teacher to have her back turned to walk instead of run. I do like classes- step aerobics, body scultping etc. I think its easier to stay motivated when you’re with a group of people. I hate the treadmill and I think you have to spend a loooooong time on the elliptical machine for it to be worthwhile. I’ve had to find something I could do with kid(s) in tow.
As I mentioned before my friend Stephanie got me started on running (really- jogging; walking breaks allowed). I would run consistently when Nathan was little and since having Mackenzie it sort of gets rotated in every once in awhile. And just so we’re clear- running isn’t fun per se. Its not like its enjoyable to feel like your internal organs rearranged themselves while your heart lodged itself in your armpit and you feel like you are going to barf last nights dinner and the whole time you keep thinking “damn Oreos dragging my ass down.” I’ve found it does get easier but its always going to be…should be- work. The route I’ve been doing lately sends me up a decent hill right out the door, I wind around over by the track, do a loop and go back down the same hill but different route. By the time I get to the track the worst is over. The part where I want to die is past and I can settle into a nice clip. And once you get to that its sort of euphoric. Im not out of breath, my legs aren’t burning, I can just run. But the best part is when its all over and the ‘high’ sets in. Whether its running or shreding or cartwheeling (ok, I don’t really do that), the high you get when its all over is the best part of working out…that is what makes it worthwhile.
I heard about the 30 Day Shred from Sundry, who, for last the year in particular, has been such an inspiration on the fitness front. I love her writing and it’s so motivating to read about her struggles and successes. For a long time I would run 3 days a week. That is all the time I was willing to devote to exercise and I felt like if I was going to stick with it I needed to be reasonable about how often I would do it. Sundry wrote a post about finding the time for exercise and how you just had to make the time. Thats it. No excuses. We’re all moms (or dads). We all have 100 things to juggle. We all want to dork around on the internet. We have the choice everyday to make time or not. As soon as I get up in the morning the workout gear goes on. I (cringe) drive Nathan to school like that, wearing flip flops, hair all kinds of crazy, and I come home and put my time in. I know Im not alone in feeling this way, but its not fun. Sometimes I have to really talk myself into doing it. Its not like I can’t! wait! to have my arss kicked and have sweat dripping down my face. Exercise isn’t supposed to be “fun”. Its hard work, its uncomfortable at times. But thats the point. “If you want results- they aren’t coming for free”, right? There are no secrets, no pills, and there are no shortcuts. Here, [brisk clap] lets have another motivational quote from Dean:
“…[People are] afraid or unwilling to demand enough of themselves and take the easy road, the path of least resistance. But struggling and suffering, as I now saw it, were the essence of a life worth living. If you’re not pushing yourself beyond the comfort zone, if you’re not constantly demanding more from yourself–expanding and learning as you go–you’re choosing a numb existence. You’re denying yourself an extraordinary trip.
As a running buddy once said to me: Life is a not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming: “WOW!! What a ride!”
Yesss….that.
If you can push past the heart-in-armpit discomfort, the hard work does payoff. And the payoff of all of this is big. I’ve been doing the shred (in addition to other things) for almost a year, and while the scale has remained steady, my size/shape/strength has changed considerably. I never used to be able to do a real push up and now I can with ease. I can hold myself in a plank position…the Captain and I may or may not even have contests for who can hold themselves in a plank the longest. That whole notion of a strong core? I get it now. I have muscles I never knew existed. Jillian promised me a nice groove in the top of my shoulders and I’ve got that too. Im not trying to belabor the point (”yay for you, I get it, 30 day shred, shut UP already”) but the workout you get in 25 minutes far surpasses 40 minutes of phoning it in on the elliptical machine (for me). Because I do get bored with the shred I’ve gotten a few of her other DVDs and they are all based on the same premise (and many of the same moves) of combining strength and cardio to burn the most calories. I highly recommend it. In addition to the physical payoffs the mental payoffs are equally important. I feel strong, I feel healthy and fit and confident and beautiful and challenged and accomplished and muscle-y (?) and less stressed and just good. (shall I continue with more adjectives?) And on the days I don’t exercise- I feel like a sloth.
The bottom line is simple math (barring medical issues, which I know exist). In order to lose weight you need some combination of eating less and moving more. Brownies can’t be the mainstay of your diet (I’ve tried it, doesn’t work). You have to want it. You can’t be fit and healthy without being willing to put in the (hard) work. Its so much easier to talk ourselves into “acceptance” than to move ourselves into “action.” I’ve so been there.
Once you’ve found whatever it is you “enjoy” be it running or shredding or cartwheeling or bike riding or hiking or swimming or skiing or… (shall I keep going?) Im a big believer in ‘material encouragement’ (I made that term up just for you). Buy yourself some crap. You are going to be more motivated to run in a new, shiny, sparkling white pair of new kicks than an old pair of keds. Better to have some sleek running shorts than some elastic-was-shot-6-months-ago number to put on. Do your socks have holes in them? Time for some new ones. Getting hit in the face? Time for a new sports bra. Going to be a ’shredhead’ [oh gag] buy some weights. I say all this with the caveat– if its not financially possible, then make due with whatcha got. Your old shoes will work fine (my mom used to throw mine in the washing machine anyway). But I think its important to reward yourself from time to time if you can, it helps me anyway.
And, because Im helpful like that, I’ll share with you some of my favorites:
Nike Tempo Shorts: best running shorts I’ve found. Most important feature? They don’t ride up.
Athleta All That Knee Length Capri: because running shorts are no good for anything but running. These are awesome for everything else.
Nike Heartrate monitor: this tells me that, despite the fact that I may feel like Im dying, Im actually not. Also, how many Oreo’s worth of calories I’ve burned.
Nike Plus iPod: I mention it below but its a good motivator too
Saucony shoes: this brand is my favorite. However, running shoes are highly personal so you may hate them.
my wishlist:
-Lululemon pants. I’ve read so many good things about them. Very spendy though.
-a good iPhone workout app. I haven’t spent much time searching though (suggestions?)
In addition to swanky gear; music. Music music music. I have an iPod nano with the nike fit thing, I haven’t used it in awhile but I really like to see all my progress, runs and total miles- thats pretty neat. As far as the music goes, I have a mix of songs I like as well as some songs I wouldn’t normally listen to but are great for a run. Here’s what I’ve got:
Evacuate the Dancefloor- Cascada
Sugar- Flo Rida
Single Ladies- Beyonce (plus- if you’ve seen how she looks in the video– it makes you want to kick your butt a little harder)
Just Dance/Pokerface/Bad Romance – Lady Gaga
Viva La Vida- Coldplay
Alive With The Glory of Love- Say Anything (its a catchy little song– its from the season finale of Scrubs)
And the very best most motivating song I have, I just added it after hearing it on the radio….the one you simply must go put on your iPod after reading this? Black Box- Strike it Up. Do it- YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO. Its pretty much the best running song ever. Plus- it brings back fond memories of junior high.
And because not only am I nice- Im SUPER nice; and want to know what you like to do for exercise, what your favorite workout garb is AND if you have some good music– and when I say good Im talking like BLACK BOX good. Leave a comment and my faithful assistant (Nathan) will draw a name out of a hat?….a bowl? something (we’ll say Friday afternoon Japan time We’ll extend this a bit because I know of at least two people who haven’t chimed in because of sick kids. Also there are not as many comments as there are readers- what gives?). And the winner will get $10 to the iTunes store. Your first purchase better be Strike It Up.
17 JanPart Two
part one if you haven’t read it.
My reason for boring you with that long dissertation is to say, I’ve got some ’street cred’. I’ve been on both sides of the coin. I know what its like to be on the pudgy side of the spectrum and I know exactly how hard it is/seems to be to change anything. There was a period of time where I did not own a pair of jeans that fit…I had jeans, and I was sure “I’d get back into them.” But I had work clothes for the week and stretchy for the weekend. Im so embarrassed to write that but its true. The thing is, nothing was going to change until I was really ready to do something about it. For me it took getting diabetes to be my wake-up call. The writing was on the wall for me if I didn’t make some profound changes in my eating and fitness habits. I don’t want to be diabetic and I didn’t want to wear stretchy for the rest of my life. This was ridiculous.
Several weeks ago I read something that got me all fired up and propelled me to write this (and Im intentionally trying to be vague, Im not trying to stir a pot). I was bothered by the number of people (and I realize this is only a small sample of the population) who were 1) plus sized 2) attributed their size to genetics/heritage 3) felt that size does not=health.
1) I went back to the US this summer. Whats more- I was in the midwest. The heartland. People are big and getting bigger. If I sat in the mall for an hour I’d say about 98% of the people that walked by would be somewhere on the overweight-obese-morbidly obese scale. What is even more concerning to me, is that overweight people are raising overweight kids. Its worrisome. I wonder what, if anything, will cause a shift/change? Im a sucker for TV shows that are medically related and recently I saw one on this morbidly obese man (1000-ish pounds) having to be physically removed from his house– they had to punch a hole through the wall to get him out on a stretcher because he wouldn’t fit through the door and I asked PC-how do you get to that point? No. I mean really. HOW do you get to that point? How do you get to the point that you have completely lost the ability to MOVE. How do you let yourself keep eating and eating and eating and not say WHOA. Not say STOP? I mean somewhere SOMEWHERE along the spectrum I just can’t believe, can’t begin to GRASP that people lack that much self control. That you can’t tell yourself to stop shoving burgers and fries in your food hole. I. don’t. get. it. Obviously that is an extreme case but my question is still the same– how does it happen?
I weigh myself every day. Im sure some people would disagree with this. I do it because it (along with the zipper on my jeans) is my “whoa” factor. I fluctuate about 5lbs. I accept that. Any more than 5lbs and we have a problem. I refused (esp. after diabetes) to be one of those women who “could never quite lose that baby weight.” I refuse to let myself hop on the scale 6 months from now and be like “damn….I gained 10lbs? How?” I don’t obsess about weight. I don’t freak out about calories. I don’t diet. I don’t deny myself any food. I do have a serious sweet tooth. I am at a healthy weight/BMI. I wear a size 8. I want to be healthy. I want to feel healthy and for the first time (meaning in the last few years) I do. After spending so many years NOT healthy.
The bottom line is that we are consuming way way more calories than our bodies can metabolize. That is the reason we are overweight. If we consumed fewer calories it would be better for our waistlines, our wallets and the environment.
2) To copy a line from somewhere else: We are all born with different body shapes and sizes but (aside from a medical condition) there is no reason for any of us to be seriously overweight. Our ancestors have nothing (or at least very little) to do with how big (round?) we are. I’m pretty sure that as a whole we’re several inches taller than our ancestors were (thats probably because of all the milk we drink with the extra! added! growth hormone! and calcium), and Im positive we’re a hell of a lot heavier. Dudes….we aren’t heavy because we came from “German/Dutch/Swiss etc. stock.” Furthermore– if you go searching on any other country on earth there is no population that is as overweight as ours. So, I think that also sort of discredits the ‘lets blame our heritage’ theory. In fact I’d say maybe the biggest familial factor in determining our shapes are the habits we learn and the things we’re fed growing up. I will agree that there is probably something in our genetics that may predispose us to certain things (ie alcoholism, being heavy, etc.) but I don’t think that necessarily means you are resigned to having/being X. I call bullshit on the ancestor theory. Its a cop-out. Its an excuse. Its interesting how with weight people use genetics as a reason to accept that “they can’t change their DNA” and yet when it comes to, say, being genetically predisposed to breast cancer women will go pre-emptively lop their breasts off (is surgery easier than a workout?) Yet both of those can kill you, why do something about one and not the other? And as a sidenote to this– Im almost finished with the book “In Defense of Food” and Michael Pollan says in numerous instances how much healthier our ancestors were and its our Western Diet that is literally killing us. (More on food/diet in part four).
3) Right now Im in the best shape I’ve been in. Wanna feel my bicep [wink wink]? I’ll get into the exercise portion a little more in part three of this four part series (did I get a laugh?) but while I wholeheartedly agree that just because you are thin doesn’t mean you are fit (and you can easily be heavier and be in very good shape as well) by and large the less weight you are carrying on your frame, the better. Right?
I like talking with people. I like helping and offering and making a difference where I can. I don’t want to cause any hard feelings and no one should take anything I have to say personally. I myself an am OVERLY sensitive person. I was just emailing back and forth with a friend the other day who was telling me she’s still trying to figure out her ‘calling’ and I keep finding myself circulating around these sorts of topics. I’ve seriously thought of going back to school for nursing, a masters in nutrition, some sort of health/wellness degree, physiology, environmental science, or maybe just getting a personal trainer certification (note- I have no interest in being a trainer, just interested in the knowledge). Im fascinated by the science behind food as it relates to health. I’ve always loved science and always thought I’d go to medical school. Chemistry deterred me. If I want any of those degrees listed above I know Im going to have to give chemistry another go. My point is I’d like to help people because I know its not easy. Weight loss is hard- its really really hard and that, I think, is why people don’t do it. Its not because of our ancestors. Its not because you’re taking a stance against the media making us feel we need to be supermodel thin. Its because its so damn hard. I know that is what held me back, I never appreciated that I had to push myself. Oh Lord I sound like a Jillian groupie but everything she says is right on, and when I want to stop running because I feel like I might throw up my left lung I hear her voice saying, “if you want change, its not going to come for free……if you want results you’re going to have to push” and I find the strength to go at least another 10 feet. ha ha
On one side of our fridge I tear out things of magazines or or write down quotes that I like. I particularly like this one from Dean Karnazes (and his book is next in my stack to read):
“Western culture has things a little backwards right now. We think if we had every comfort available to us, we’d be happy. We equate comfort with happiness. And now we’re so comfortable we’re miserable. There’s no struggle in our lives. No sense of adventure. We get in a car, we get in an elevator, it all comes easy. What I’ve found is that I’m never more alive than when I’m pushing and I’m in pain, and I’m struggling for high achievement, and in that struggle I think there’s a magic.”
14 JanI guess we’ll start at the beginning*
*I always think of my friend Viv who, when interviewing a potential nanny, asked the person to, “tell me a little about yourself” and her response was “where should I start….like when I was born?”
I won’t start quite that far back. Also, if you’re particularly sensitive (no, I don’t hate fat people) or don’t want to hear my opinions on health/fitness/size/food etc. You might as well tune out now.
All through high school I was a nice 110-115 lbs. I remember in college my roommate Melissa and I had gone to the gym and we ‘dared’ to step on the big scale there. Me? 120. I had reached one hundred and TWENTY pounds. I couldn’t believe it. I guess you can’t have french fries and chicken cosmo sandwiches at the dining hall and not gain weight. I also had no idea that going to Late Night Libby (fellow Buff’s know what Im talking about) and getting bagels or frozen mini pizzas or (gross) burritos for midnight snacks was also not a wise choice.
I obviously didn’t expect to weigh 115 pounds into my 20’s but I continued to slowly go up to my absolute max when Nathan was born: 190lbs. Many of you probably know I also had gestational diabetes with Nathan. Not surprising when I weighed ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY pounds. When we lived in Colorado and was working full time I loathed working out. We lived in an apartment complex that had a nice workout facility, pool and a “lake” (man made pond) to run around. I thought I could go “phone it in” for 15-20 minutes on the elliptical machine lift a few weights and call it a day. I can’t imagine why I never lost any weight.
When we moved into our house we lost the workout room so I joined the YMCA in Boulder, figuring it would make the sense to go workout after work and then go home. I dragged myself there a few times a week, put in my 20 minutes and went home. After working all day long the last thing I cared about doing was going to workout. I would get up at 6, be to work by 7, work all day dealing with people that “didn’t understand HOW I HAVE NO MONEY, it says right HERE in my checkbook I do,” (yes, I really did have people- many in fact, that assured me that their ‘rough math’ in their check register was correct. The bank was incorrect but they couldn’t pinpoint our error) all I wanted to do is go home, make dinner and watch TV. And for the most part, I did.
When PC joined the Marine Corps and I quit my job I made a serious effort to get into better shape. I started going to the gym in Quantico and doing classes 3-4 days a week. I enjoyed it and did it well into my pregnant days. Once I was diagnosed with diabetes I was really diligent about walking every morning. I wasn’t on insulin so I had to keep my blood sugar in check with diet and exercise.
Lets just talk about diabetes for a minute- its not fun. You don’t want to get this/have this/develop this. I wasn’t sure how I would survive the last 12 weeks of pregnancy on what I thought was a very restrictive diet. I mean pregnancy was supposed to be your one-time excuse to eat what you wanted….not hot dogs with no buns. It wasn’t fun poking my finger 4+ times a day- after a couple days all your fingers all have scabs on them and you’re repoking the ones that haven’t been healed. Your skin starts to get tougher so you have to set the needle higher so it pricks harder. I knew I didn’t want to live like that for the rest of my life. I knew I’d never take my insulin for granted again. Because I became so well versed in the diet plan it definitely spilled over into how we eat today. Turns out the ‘diabetic diet’ is pretty much how we should be eating, all of us.
Once Nathan was born I gave myself 6 months to be back to my pre-pregnancy size. I did it in 5. Here is my plug for breastfeeding, I love the breastfeeding weight loss plan. I mean-its so great I think they should find a way to induce lactation and people can just pump and pour calories all they want. Breastfeeding lowers your risk of developing type 2 diabetes, it also protects the baby from both type 1 and type 2 diabetes as well as no fewer than a bajillion other things. Don’t worry- Im not a card carrying LLL member or anything, but Im a firm believer in the benefits of the boob.
Once we got to Japan I got a POS jogging stroller and started walking a little more regularly. My friend and neighbor Stephanie convinced me (dragged me? hehe) to do a 5k with her one weekend. It pretty much sucked to just go run a 5k without having been running at all. And Stephanie could just run the whole thing! And she had a cool stroller! And she looked fantastic! So, I decided I should start running and once a month do the 5k’s on base as my measure for improvement. I kept running, eventually upgraded to a better stroller (when the handlebar snapped off mine while running, it made for a good reason to get a new one) and then got pregnant again. I distinctly remember the last time I went running; it was a Saturday morning, PC was deployed and we were coming back from Dunkin Donuts when Nathan puked in the stroller. A few days later I caught it. I had a dr. appt the next day and had started to loose weight at which point I was told no more vigorous exercise.
After Mackenzie was born I lost the baby weight in about 4 months. Granted, I had gained a lot less. Since having her I’ve been running some but mostly, as I think we are all well aware, I do the 30 day Shred with Jillian. That brings us to the present.
*****
to be cont.
10 JanYou’ve got to be kidding me.
I should really stay up and write my health/fitness/food/wellness post that’s been rolling around in my mind for the last several days. Especially because Im all fired up right now. Get this….
I bought a box of angel food cake mix. Despite my adherence to making things from scratch I do buy cake mixes….(but I don’t buy brownie or muffin mixes… so I don’t know why I don’t make cake from scratch, anyway.) So after I popped it in the oven I quickly glanced at the ingredient list because I was curious how powder + water + mix = FOAM?
The reason folks, is that they put potentially cancer causing soap bubbles in it. Pfft. For the love of all that is holy…..shit, I guess this Iowa girl is going to have to become a FREAKING John-Deere tractor driving FARMER because the grocery store no longer sells FOOD anymore. They sell products that are food-ish. Gah….its scary….no I mean it, its seriously, seriously scary. WHAT THE HELL ARE WE EATING?
I’m reading Michael Pollans “In Defense of Food” and it is outstanding. His whole point was driven home tonight with the Devil Angel food cake debacle. Im also working on a cookbook…who knows if I’ll ever get around to finishing it but if I do, you might want a copy. I think I might title it “Eat This if You Want to Survive.”
Thanks Betty effing Crocker for putting soap bubbles in my cake mix. I fed that TO MY BABY TONIGHT.
08 JanFour and a Half
Im aware that Mackenzie gets more detailed updates on here. There is no real reason for this other than after she was born the whole notion of keeping up on her milestones in a baby book wasn’t going to happen, so I started monthly letters. I should be doing the same for Nathan…even if it is only once every six months.
Dear Nathan,
This month you turn four and a half. FOUR AND A HALF. How we are just six months away from you being F-I-V-E blows my mind. My baby….HOW did you grow up so fast? It makes my heart ache a little that its all going so fast.
You are a loving, caring, affectionate, tough, stubborn, determined, hard headed, brilliant four year old. You are a great big brother (most of the time). You use your sister as a pawn when you see fit. Like when we went Christmas shopping for her and you went down the cars/trucks aisle of the BX and picked out an airplane, “She’ll want this airplane…..we’ll just share it how about?” You like playing upstairs in your room (”mom—Mackenzie wants to go play in my room….don’t you Mackenzie [high pitched motherease voice] you want to go play upstairs with Nathan? Say yes, say yes?”) Mackenzie just nods her head like a bobble. So we go upstairs where the battle of toys begins. You want your sister there, but not too close. And not touching anything Playmobil. So you try and bait her with something lame and in your high pitched motherease voice say, “here Mackenzie….you want to play doctor? Here is the breast pump anesthesia mask.” Which buys you about 30 seconds before she’s back in your stuff.
You still love airplanes. You still line them up and fly them around. Im glad you have something you’ve enjoyed since you were a wee little guy. You have started getting into legos. Playmobil, Little People, Chubby People and wood blocks keep you busy. You love doing workbooks and coloring and painting.
You absolutely think you are one of the big kids when you play outside, even though you are the youngest. You come in for dinner, dirt smeared across your face, hands black and tell me all non-chalantly that you were “playin’ Lava Monster at the park…..whats for dinner?” Gee….did you turn 16 while you were out there too? You now have a scooter like some of the other kids and it makes me smile as I watch you from the kitchen window whizzing by. How did you get so big? And so coordinated?
On the nights that your dad works late or is gone, after we put Mackenzie to bed we have what you affectionately refer to as: you and me time. It sounds more like something that would be on The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love. Its much more innocent than that and it usually involves a chat over a bowl of ice cream. Snuggling up and watching a movie, reading books or coloring. You love having my undivided attention and I get that, I like having yours.
You love to help me in the kitchen. Its what we do. We were real busy over Christmas and I think your very very favorite is frosting sugar cookies. Theres frosting! and Sprinkles! And colored sugar! You like to tell me “you’re the bestest mommy I’ve ever had” or sometimes I’m “the best mommy in the whole universe.”
You’re doing well in school even though you still have occasional protests about going. You have nice printing and can write your name as well as mine and your dads. Mackenzie’s is a bit longer so we’re still working on that. You have started reading books and doing addition/subtraction 0-10. Kindergarten is going to be a breeze for you kid. The other day you were sitting at the table and out of the blue started furiously rubbing your hands together. “This is friction” you announced, “my hands are warm, feel them. Thats friction.” Uh…..ok Albert EINSTEIN. Incidentally I think you learned that little gem from TV.
And speaking of TV….what do you like to watch? Ki-Lan and Clifford. Those are the clear favorites. You are also your mother’s son and you are all too eager to sit with me and watch a “hospital show” (something surgical and bloody) or something on animal planet like “man eating shark” or “caught on tape- snake eating entire antelope.” Hey, at least its educational. I think.
The other day when I was sick and dozing I felt you come over to me tap me on my chest and give me a kiss. You are a very loving little boy. You dole out hugs and kisses and will even cup my face in your hands and smile at me. This gives me every assurance that even on the bad days, Im doing something right. When I tuck you in I tell you I want you to be my GooGoo* for ever. Sometimes you tell me you will until you’re a grown up, other days you assure me– promise me, you’ll be my GooGoo forever. I hope so.
Love you forever,
mom
*in case you’re wondering-I’ve called Nathan GooGoo since he was a wee one, when he was a baby he’d always make the sound “nnn-goo” so I started calling him my N-Goo baby, then goo goo and the name just stuck. He’s also my Nath-a-lathe, Nathy, and Nate the Great. He does not like just ‘Nate’….he promptly tells me thats not his name.
07 JanFifteen
Mackenzie,
You turned 15 months old this week and you started walking (for real this time). I love watching your face as you toddle across a room, part exhilaration and pure excitement of your newfound freedom, part fear of toppling over. I had forgotten how much fun this stage is– just a few short days of learning the new skill. Soon it will be old news.
We still call you Kiki or little Macky or Kenzie or little SAAHSAAY (sassy). Or Little Mama or BooBoo or KeeGee or Keek. I’ve also started calling you MYkenzie which will probably just throughly confuse you as to what the correct pronunciation of your name really is. And when you climb all over your brother and giggle with delight– that’s called a MAC ATTACK.
I was just thinking today how cavalier I’ve been about your words, I mean, compared to a 4 year old that can talk AND walk, you’ve still got a ways to go, but compared to when Nathan was this age- he had a few sounds/signs but you’ve got actual words. Nathan really didn’t speak at all until just after he turned two. Today you started stringing a bunch of nonsense together and it was like “mom, don’t you get what Im saying?” After dinner you’ll start pulling on someone’s leg for your “baah baah” (bath). You ask for “wa wa” and you like things that are “peee” (pretty). You are totally your mother’s daughter in that you can spot a baked good a mile away “EEH EEH (cookIE)” you say it over and over and you add in the sign for “yes please” as well as nodding your head. Hopefully the trifecta of word, sign and nod is the winning combo to ensure success. Im such a sucker. You like to play with the phone and say “I” (hi) and ask if its “da…..da?” (never mama. Never). You say bir for bird, boo for book. EEZ for cheese and ack for snack. and you have some strange word for vacuum. You have a strange love/hate with the vacuum, terrified if it gets to close to you, fascinated from a safe distance and you always do the sign for ‘more’ followed by your word for vacuum whenever the ‘ole Dyson gets turned off. Im so glad these domestic duties excite you. We’ve sort of regressed on the animal sounds…now pretty much any mammal says “WHOO” or “RAAH.” Meh, its the shortcut I guess.
If someone asks me what your favorite thing is, hands down its got. to be. your. shoes. You love yourself some shoes girl. And, if the mood hits you, socks are ok too. I’ve been a bit of a sucker for the See Kai Run shoes- you love having me put them on and take them off. You absolutely beam with delight when I say “you have shoes on? You look. so. pretty.” You are my girlie girl. You are interested in accessories. You tell me my necklaces are “pee” and for Christmas your to-be Aunt Ashley picked out a very cute little Fisher Price purse that comes with an assortment of girlie items but most importantly a pink plastic bracelet. You shove your chubby little hand through it, hold it up and wait for me to tell you how pretty you look.
Admiring her silver mary janes
In addition to your shoes, socks, and bracelet, you love to get into whatever Nathan is doing. You love stuffed animals and are interested in mundane things (a plastic straw wrapper!) as well as things like the Apple remote. Which you correctly point at the TV, push the button and start/pause a show. 15 month olds….they can do anything.
When we tell you your food is hot you put your hand over it and say” HA” (hot) and then proceed to blow on it. I think it probably ranks up there in the cutest! thing! ever! that today Janelle told you the oven was hot and you proceeded to blow on it. Same thing happened when you were trying to climb up the step ladder (the one your brother was already occupying) and reach towards the electric fry pan. Your dad told you it was hot and you blew some slobbery air at it.
And while we’re on the topic of food; girl, you can eat. If I had to pick a favorite….blueberries? I’m fairly certain if I didn’t stop with say, an entire bowl, you’d just keep eating them. Fresh or frozen, doesn’t matter. You had real strawberries for the first time last week and I think those might rival the blueberries. You like waffles and cookies and yogurt and oatmeal. Raisins, peas, grapes, and pita. You mostly want exactly what we’re eating. You can’t seem to choke down anymore string cheese (”Kenzie….we’ve got to run some errands….mama will bring some string cheese with us!”) so, I should really stop buying that. You’ve started requesting water just out of the blue which is just so nice to actually have you communicate what it is you want.
You love playing outside with the kids and now that you’re walking Im sure you’ll be chasing after them instead of just waving and screaming at them. You and Nathan play well together and I think its pretty dang cute that Nathan has started pulling the other end of your bike and he asks me what I want to drink. You probably don’t realize it but you (and Nathan) are flight attendants, your bike is the food cart and you guys are working the aisles of the airplane passing out food. A brother and sister flight attendant team, srsly, too cute.
Judging by the rail of your crib you apparently could have a career as a woodchuck or a beaver or whatever creature uses its 4 front teeth to gnaw away at a piece of wood. Nathan did this trick but no where NEAR the extent that you have. Since the crib was flipped the other direction when he was in it he chewed on one end and you’re working hard at the other. It kind of makes me want to keep the crib when we’re done with it, for no other reason than its got those sweet little teeth marks in it. Ah, Im a sucker for sentimental value.
You wear 24mo/2T and still have the chubbiest little legs and arms. Janelle even pointed out your chubby fingers today, but I promise, they are still dainty in their chubbiness. You have a nice round little tummy and a flat-ish butt. I had to trim up your bangs this week– at least some part of your hair looks groomed. Most days we’re somewhere between a peacocked-Farrah-mullet and just a mullet. I managed to get your hair some teeny pigtails a few times (and they’re so! cute! a cross between a Sprite and Shrek! but you fight me and fight me and damn… it takes me at least 10 tries to just get one in, its so frustrating to watch you stroke that fluffy tail and then pull the rubber-band out (”noooooooooooo”). You’ve also started boycotting barrettes… put it in, take it out, put it in, take it out. I give up. Rock the mullet if you want. Unless I have you totally distracted its futile.
I dread going anywhere with you in the car because you are just a miserable crank. Your Uncle Steve has determined, after being squashed in the backseat with you, that you just don’t like being confined. You’re a free spirit and you need to roam. So, on the one hand, too many minutes spent in the car with you can put a damper on my day, but for the most part Kiki, you make me smile and make me laugh every day. Nathan was (is) a real character too but you- you know how to work a crowd. You’ve started doing sweet eyes again and the more we smile and laugh the more you do it. I hope you make that face forever.
In the mornings after we drop Nathan off at school we come home and do the shred with Jillian Michaels. Your stare goes from the TV, to me and then back to the TV. You smile and wave your arms and shake your booty like you’re doing it to. When Im doing pushups or sit-ups you’ll crawl over and get right near my face, turn sideways and give me a big smile like “yeah mama, us girls gotta workout….together.”
love you forever,
mama