A lot of things changed when we decided to stay here for another 3 years. Plans had to be scraped, ideas changed and the house all of a sudden got way too small. I think most people who have lived over here would agree, a tour in Japan is really just like a 3 year shopping trip. The first year you are overwhelmed and excited at all the possibilities. You acquire a few things. The second year you start to get serious. You know what you like and what you dont like. You know what the hard to find items are and the “see it at every gift corner opening” items are. The third year you start to get a little nutty, you load up. You make a line item in your budget for “Shopping: Japan.” When neighbors of ours left they had a going away party and it was damn near impossible to walk through their house. Not only were they literally walled in by furniture, they had so much that they had even stacked pieces on top of each other. That may have been a bit excessive but most people know they wont be coming back this way, and you might as well get the stuff you want when the government is paying to move it from overseas.

Im feeling pretty walled in these days. When my parents visited they insisted I not buy ANY more furniture. I kept trying to explain to them that I bought the things I had under the premise that we would be leaving after 3 years. If I had known we were staying I may have been a little more choosey. I’ve even contemplated selling some of the pieces I’ve bought because I have found things I like better…..who does that? Today I passed up a beautiful desk/table and Im still stewing over it. It was new (antique but new in the store) and Yuki told me with her Chinese accent “this beautiful desk….from capitol….I found in Beijing.” And just the way she said Beijing made my heart beat a little faster. But there was just no where for it to go– no where that I could stand having it for the next 3 years.

I feel like with the 4th family member that our 1100 square feet of house sort of imploded. If we had a basement or a garage or just a small area for storage we would be so much better off. Part of me feels like we’re trapped by our possessions, the other part says 1100 sq feet is just not enough room. Period. Ive thought about getting rid of our fairly large coffee table because when Nathan lines up his planes and Sandy is flopped on the floor there is no room for Mackenzie to spread out on a blanket. I’ve thought of getting rid of the Pottery Barn knock of kitchen we had made and paid a fairly pretty penny for because Nathan doesn’t play with it that often and what?, are we really going to save it for another 2 years until Mackenzie is ready to play with it? Im not sure I can do it. I hate that it clutters up an entire corner as it is. Im sure my husband would like to edit this to add in something about the ottoman I bought and he’s never liked. How long is THAT going to take up space in our family room?

There are so many things that Im inclined to part with and yet I think “well, if Im just going to have to buy it again….” Nathan has a little table and chairs set in his room. I’ve never really loved it but PC got it in the Philippines for the right price and it served its purpose well. He no longer uses it. Ever. He’s probably too big to even fit his legs under the table. Mostly it just gets piled up with crap and looks like a hideous mess. I’ve (unilaterally) decided to get him a desk. (Hey, PC, isn’t it a great idea–get Nathan a desk?) He likes to color or work on the preschool workbooks I have for him. Its all about “preparing himself for his career as a pilot.” Since the table and chairs are just wasting space I’ve decided to give them the big heave ho at the next flea market (oh yeah, PC, did I tell you we’re going to the flea market when you get back?) But then I think….Mackenzie will use them, I should save them. I tell myself this with way too much stuff….these boy blue jeans? Mackenzie can wear these. The Brio train stuff…..Mackenzie might love that. And I just have to get out of this rut. Because really- she isn’t going to wear the boy jeans. And really, she’s going to get a cute white table and chairs set in order to host the perfect tea party up in her room, even if I have to pay double shipping from Pottery Barn, because, just because. And the trains….alright I’ll save a few. But probably- she isn’t going to love trains.

I’ve slowly started going through the house one drawer, one cupboard, one basket at a time and weeding through things. Im not exaggerating when I say its having an impact on my mental health to just always have clutter all over. Its stressful, its unpleasant to look at, its embarrassing when friends come over to have your house look like Pee-Wee’s playhouse and with everything else I have to fill my days Im tired of spending so much of it always picking up. Im making a concerted effort to keep on top of things more and I think the less stuff we have, the easier that will be. Sort of like a New Years resolution type deal. I’ve started taking before and after photos to track my progress.

This weekend’s project (weather provided): the front yard. Im tired of the weeds. I enjoy gardening. Nathan enjoys it and it looks nice to come home to. (Steph- no need to remind me of the “Rock Garden” that never was…..)

Step 1: purchase flowers

Filed under: This Is My Life, its not just good-its just good enough, the cement bungalow